


It

by Ruquas



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 21:53:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4075147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruquas/pseuds/Ruquas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There must be something wrong with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It

There must be something wrong with him.

That was the only explanation he could think of. He knew it was not Kim. Kim was perfect. But he was not perfect. He was broken. Used. He was not anything near perfection. Maybe Kim couldn't see it but he saw it every time when he looked into the mirror.

A few weeks ago, he tried to sleep with Kim. It had happened in March and when he tried it, it was June. It was enough time to recover, wasn't it? But then Kim had wanted to help him out of his jeans he was suddenly somewhere else. He was in the dark alley again. And he had cried and begged his memory to stop. Begged Kim to stop. Kim did but Patrick knew he felt guilty. He felt guilty for something he couldn't prevent or change. But Patrick felt guilty even though Kim asked him not to do something like that to himself. It had happened a long time ago. He shouldn't be such a baby. They had to have sex in their relationship. They had sex before. He couldn't asked Kim to live like a monk just because he was to stupid to control himself!

When the lights brightened he turned shocked around just to see Kim standing in the door. „Do you want to come to bed?“. Patrick nodded but didn't move. „But I... we.... not....“, he tried to say but failed. He couldn't even say one simple sentence anymore. His lover nodded and smiled at him. „I know, Patrick. And I do not care. I already said that. And now come to bed or do you want to freeze to death in the bath?“, Kim asked and went back to their bed. Patrick sighed and went after him. After all, it was really cold in here.

How could Kim not care what happened to him? He was dirty now. Used. No one looked at him like they did before it happened. Lisbon tried to be normal but it was like she would walk on egg shells. Or broken glass. Barefoot. Then there was Van Pelt. At first she couldn't look him into the eyes. But then she went away. She applied to get into a team in Baltimore. 2732 Miles away from him. She got the job. Hightower wanted to give him a break. And Kim... was careful. He knew why. He was afraid of touching. Didn't want to get kissed. If someone saw them, he would think they were friends, if anything at all.

He trusted Kim, that was out of question. He loved the other man. But sometimes, when the nightmares are especially bad and Kim tried to wake him, Patrick would slap or kick him. One time he even bit him. Kim had said that it doesn't matter if Patrick did something like that. Patrick wanted to believe him. After all, he trusted him.

But he trusted Rigsby too, and now he sees him every night in his nightmares.


End file.
